well now....... i finally have time to write. Summer has started for me, and im ok with it. I miss my WSC friends soo much, yet i know they are having fun. This summer has boil down to a few new things for me. First and most important is $$. A lot of stuff to buy/want to buy( including gas... ugh). Second, i want to write more music. It started off as a joke about a girl, then i realized i might actually be decent at it. It is the greatest feeling when finishing a song. I don't know what genre i will be in. I just want to perform again. I miss the stage and people watching me play. Yeah.... thats about it. Im single..... but i am fine with it right now.....
till the next time

-Rich

what does that mean? Does it mean im too good to ppl to the point that it is annoying? The thought has been in my mind all day. Someone told me i was too nice. Do people not like me for being too nice? Is it a turn-off for girls if im too nice? Now that i think about it.... I kinda am. I wish that everyone else's lives were better......which have made me forget about pleasing myself. I guess i have to start thinking about Rich more..... Ugh... idk anymore.

Soooo second semester has calmed down and i am doing alot better now. I still think about her, but im getting better. I have seen great change in my playing and my life. I love my friends. i love jazz combo, even tho we have this rediculous solo. Its alot of work but i can do it. So I have been playing magic alot lately, i made $300 bucks and i have spent soooo much time on the weekends. Magic the gathering is the meth of card games. LOL. Finally, next week we have a wind symphony concert next tues. We have basically no time to practice it as an ensemble, yet we still sound amazing..... that makes me soo happy. guess till whenever...

-Rich

From what seemed like not the best situation for me, has turned a complete 180 degrees. The last 2 days have been amazing. Andie gave me some great advice a couple of days ago, I needed to realize that i need to please myself first. As soon as i heeded her advice..... i've never been happier and more excited for every day. I occasionally think about her, but then i realize that it is completely her loss. I have realized how much of a great guy I am. It is so weird how a few days with your friends can change you. Andie, Amanda, Ryan, Angela, and everyone else are amazing and i love them all.

So.... she said no. I went to see her and i told her how i felt, she was surprised and told me she liked someone else. I wish i knew why girls cant look at me and be like, that guy is amazing. idk..... i cant let myself get down tho. I wish i could just not like her anymore...... but its sucks cause i still do. When i see her it is sad, because I wish I could do something about it, but i know its her choice and i cant change it for her. Idk what i want to do with relationships.... I need to figure stuff out. Atleast i know when i need my friends, they will be there for me, and they are.

So last week i was really sick.... not the greatest feeling. I tried to get into an english class and it didn't work, and i tried to talk to the girl i like and it kinda backfired. Not exactly on the great weeks of my life list. Yet, it is a new week and im looking forward to my adventures with my friends and my out of control personality. Everyday there is a new adventure for me to keep myself busy...... i wondered what would i be if i didnt have theses adventures.... i would probably spend my time studying and practicing, eventually becoming the greatest trumpet player ever and then slowly, but surely taking over the world. Thank god none of that is happening. I'm not saying i would be a terrible dicator, but it would be awkward. Andie and i spent some quality time chillen on sunday during the superbowl....even tho the Pats lost. Lets not get into that. I have studio class tomorrow and im playing another etude. I kinda wish i could play this song that i got over break but Dr. LaVoie says i should just do this etude, and i trust her opinion. So i guess i will just be content with what im doing right now. So i guess i will end this entry or blog thingy with her. She is good, and i told her that i wanted to talk to her. She was like ok over A.I.M. and i told her i would rather tell her in person. Im not in Junior high school anymore and i have to be a man. hopefully i will get to see her and talk to her. I will let it be known when i do. till then.

-Rich

So.... i guess this is my first entry ever..... and im a bit confused. I'm really just kinda writing this to myself, cause no really knows im on Livejournal and it feels like im the only one listening to myself at times. Well, second semester of college has started.... and i almost see myself in more chaos then the first semester. New classes, Classes that i need to take, Not getting several required classes, and thinking about the girl i want, but have almost no chance with. Its almost pitiful that i'm writing songs about her, yet I don't have the guts to say what i want....... Thank god i have amazing friends. They are definitely the glue that keeps me together. Hanging out with them makes me so happy. Some people enjoying relaxing to calm them down, other like listening to music, while others read books. I feel whole when im writing and playing music, or when im with my friends.

It's really weird that i have not known these people for more than a few months now. Its actually pretty cool. I can go to them with any problem, and they just are sooo supportive. I can even tell some of them parts of me that i don't feel happy to talk about, like my past, something i would never have done before. I feel like ive changed, not appearance wise....... just i feel like im ready to take charge of my life. Maybe i dont feel as bad as i thought..... I just need to be myself, then who knows, maybe even she will see who i really am. I guess thats all i really have to say right now, and i feel better for writing this. Andie was right about this, and im happy with it.

~Rich

P.S. If someone ever does read this, sorry for the grammar or spelling errors..... nobody is perfect.